On Change

I am a very adaptable person, and I love change. If Paul told me he wanted to move to Minnesota, I would get on Craigslist right then and see how many bedrooms we could get in our budget. I would jump ON that Minnesota bandwagon. I love trying different things like learning a new language, taking a Zumba class, cross-stitch, crochet, cooking, and candle-making. I have lots of ideas in my head and often don’t have time or money to accomplish those things. And some things I do start, but come to realize they are not my cup of tea. (I joined Curves for a day!) One thing I do love and do consistently is read. But even in that I adapt. Depending on what I’m reading, I usually adapt to that way of life. I read Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird (FANTASTIC book) and wanted to become a writer. I read (and watched) Half the Sky, and wanted to move to India to help women in the sex trade. I’m currently reading a book (Bread & Wine) about how sacred the dinner table and guests are and now I want to have dinner parties every weekend. 

There is tension in this character trait of mine. Many times it’s served me well: I find it easy to enjoy the people I work with no matter where I’m at. I have a very eclectic group of friends from all different walks in life, and I LOVE it. On the downside, I struggle with contentment. I’m constantly thinking about the next thing that I’m going to be doing, whether that day or the next year. I am often not satisfied with the daily things in life, thinking that there are more important things I could be doing than paying the bills.

I am learning to embrace this and to tone it down. And I suppose writing this down and acknowledging that it is who I am is the first step in the right direction. It’s ok for me to have many dreams and goals for my life, but I’m going to take longer to make those kinds of decisions. It’s ok for me to want to try different hobbies, but I’m going to be more honest with myself about whether I’ll like it or not, and not waste my time on things I won’t like just because other people like it. 

One of my greatest friends told me to never listen to people who tell you to never change, because you should always be changing. In context, that meant growth. We should always be striving to be better people, better friends, better spouses, better human beings. That’s the kind of change I want. 

And no, we are not moving to Minnesota. Yet.